Truth or Dare: Furuba Style!
by CuteCrittersGang
Summary: One by one, the Furuba characters are forced to play a twisted rendition of Truth or Dare ... but with kidnapped audiences and insane hosts, things may get a little crazy.
1. Chapter 1

Angry Kitty: We wrote this for the sole purpose of gettinh rid of writer's block!

Tom: We also wrote another little filler story but SOME ONE forgot to type it up. (glares at Sassy)

Sassy: I'M SORRY! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!

Yuki: Well we all knew that-

Sassy: WHAT ARE YOU IMPLIEING!

Yuki: TT Isn't it ovious?.

Tom: For crying out loud! Just say the stupid disclaimer!

Angry Kitty: we don't own Furuba OR jerry springer so... SUE AND I'LL BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF!

Tom: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUTTHREATENING PEOPLE!

Angry Kitty: (flees)

**CHAPTER ONE**

The set looked like a living room, with three, comfy chairs and a coffee table. The audience, however, looked either pissed off or scared, and were all tied to their seats. The occupiers of the chairs were leaving the audience confused as well, until one of them spoke.

"Hello and welcome to Truth or Dare: Furuba Style! We're your hosts, the Cute Critters Gang!" An orange cat with yellow stripes chirped into the microphone, sitting comfortably on one of the chairs. "I'm Angry Kitty, this is Sassy," she gestured to a snow-white horse t her left, "and Tom," who was a small, ordinary-looking squirrel seated to her right.

Silence met with Angry Kitty's words.

"HEY!" one irate audience member yelled, "Why the fuck did you kidnap us? And how can you TALK?"

"We're magic," Angry Kitty replied.

"And we couldn't find a real audience. So we kidnapped one!" Sassy said cheerfully.

IIIIIIII

Jerry Springer sat in his comfy talk show chair, looking out at the empty audience seats.

"What happened to all my fans? Weren't we sold out?" he whined.

A nervous body guard named Steve scurried up to him.

"Um, sorry Mr. Springer, sir," he stammered, "but a talking cat just took off with our audience. I would've stopped her, but she had explosives!"

Shaking his fists, Jerry leaped to his feet and yelled, "I'LL GET THEM BACK IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!"

Steve nearly fell off the stage in fright.

"Come Steve! We have work to do!

"Um … Okay?"

IIIIIIIIIIII

"And besides," Tom said consolingly, "who wants to listen to Jerry Springer anyway?"

"NOW!" Angry Kitty yelled, interrupting the angry mutterings that came from the crowd, "Our first victim-I mean, guest-is none other than the one and only KYO SOHMA!"

Silence followed her words.

"START CLAPPING!" Sassy shrieked at them, shocking most of them into submissive applause.

Kyo was brought out, also chained to his chair and spitting mad.

"WHY THE FUCK AM I ALWAYS THE FIRST GUEST?" He raged at them as he was unceremoniously plunked down next to their own chairs, "BOTH HERE AND IN YOUR OTHER CRAPPY STORY!"

"Lost in Furuba was not crappy!" Angry Kitty gasped.

"The hell it wasn't!"

"And your always first because people love you!" Sassy told him.

Kyo looked at her like she was on crack, "Uh, no, actually, everyone hates me."

"Well, in OUR world, people love you." Tom said, whipping out a remote and pressing a button eagerly.

A portion of the wall slid back, showing a large-screen TV. With another click of the button, the TV came to life. It showed a large, golden statue of Kyo, and about two hundred people surrounding it, bowing and chanting his name.

"How come I can't live in your world?" he whined.

"Because life's a bitch. NOW KYO!" Angry Kitty said with a malevolent grin, "Truth or Dare?"

He stared at her. "WHAT?"

"That's why you're here," Tom said boredly, "To play truth or dare. And if you don't answer within the next thiry seconds, I'll electrocute you."

Knowing full well that these three were demented, he hissed, "Fine, fine, Truth!"

Sassy gave him a wicked smirk. "Do you love Tohru?"

He choked on air. "WHAT?"

"Oh, dear, you've started to repeat yourself," Tom said, sounding uninterested, though her eyes were riveted on him.

"I said: 'Do you love Tohru?' Well, do you?" Sassy asked impatiently.

"I … that is … I mean …"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT ALL READY!" Angry Kitty yelled.

"YES!" There was a pause, before Kyo blushed darkly.

"Aw, well isn't that cute. And how do you feel about that, Tohru?" Tom called to the person that had risen to her feet during Kyo's confession. Tohru was illuminated by a spotlight, as she looked down at Kyo in shock.

He looked up at her in horror. Crap.

"Well, I …" she blushed, "I love you, too."

The crowd aww'ed.

"HEY! What about me?" someone shouted. Another spotlight lit up the form of Yuki Sohma, on the other side of the audience.

"What ABOUT you, Yuki?" Angry Kitty asked disdainfully.

Tom nodded, "Yeah, no one likes you."

"People do like me! Everyone likes me! I have my own FANCLUB for crying out loud!"

"Yes," Sassy agreed, "But do you have a shrine?"

His jaw dropped, "Wha-Bu-no!"

"And besides," Tom interrupted, "You turn into a rat. Rats are disgusting. Cats are cute and cuddly, and don't live in sewers. Everyone likes cats over rats."

"Watch!" Angry Kitty piped up, whipping out an adorable butterscotch kitten that blinked at them with big blue eyes.

The crowd aww'ed again.

Then, she pulled out a rat, hanging it by its tail.

"EWW!"

"THAT'S DIGUSTING!"

"SICK!"

Yuki hung his head and sat back down.

"Yeah, that's what I THOUGHT!" Kyo said triumphantly.

"Now, onto the Dare portion of the proceedings!" Angry Kitty snickered.

"Wait, DARE? I chose Truth!" Kyo protested.

"Oh, didn't we tell you?" Tom asked. "Each victim-pardon me, GUEST has to answer one question truthfully and one dare."

"WHAT KIND OF RULES ARE THOSE?"

"Good ones. Now, I dare you to," Sassy paused, "Eat a whole bag of leeks!"

Tom pulled out a bag filled with leeks and placed it in front of Kyo.

"WHAT? HELL NO!"

"You'll do it or you'll get electrocuted," Angry Kitty told him.

"I still say hell no!"

With a press of a big red button on the arm rest of her chair, Tom sent electric shocks coursing through Kyo's body.

"OW! THAT HURTS LIKE A MOTHER!" he shrieked, his clothes smoking.

Angry Kitty then began calmly and methodically shoving leeks down his throat, oblivious to the gagging sounds he was making. Once the bag was empty, Kyo looked decidedly green.

"I think I'm going to hurl."

"Well sucks to be you!" Tom said cheerfully.

Suddenly, the wall blew up, raining debris on the unfortunate audience members. When the dust cleared, Jerry Springer was standing in the hole Steve the body guard had made with dynamite, a huge machine gun in his hands.

"You STOLE MY AUDIENCE you little BITCH!" he screamed at Angry Kitty, firing sporadically.

Angry Kitty, Sassy, and Tom had taken cover, dragging Kyo (who was still tied up) with them.

"What the hell, Angry Kitty! You stole JERRY SPRINGER'S audience? He's a fucking nut job!" Sassy screamed.

"I didn't think he'd mind!" she yelled back.

Calmly, Tom stepped out of hiding.

"Dude, Jerry, chill out. Take your audience back; we don't even need them anymore."

Panting, the crazed host eyed the small squirrel dubiously, "Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Oh, well, okay then," he said, tossing his machine gun to the side.

Sassy and Angry Kitty peeked their heads out of hiding.

"Nice." Was all they had to say at their destroyed set.

"Well," Angry Kitty sighed, "That's all for now, since we have to rebuild our whole fucking set and find a new audience."

"TTFN!"

END

Angry Kitty: Hey! It didn't work! I still have writer's block!

Tom: SSH! They don't need to know that!

Yuki: Of course it didn't work, that was so stupid!

Sassy: You're just mad because Kyo got Tohru.

Yuki: (snap) I HATE YOU ALL! (stomps off)

Tom: Love you too, honey!

Angry Kitty: Now review or I'll sic JERRY SPRINGER on you!

Tom: WHY! Why do you CONTINUE to threaten the ones we love?

Agry Kitty: ... I have issues.

Yuki: We can see that.

Sassy: KYO AND TOHRU SITTING IN A TREE!

Yuki: AHH! IT BURNS!


	2. Chapter 2

Sassy: Well, hi everybody!

Angry Kitty: Howdy!

Yuki: Thank God, I've been spared.

Tom: Why yes. (looks over chapter) Miraculously, we've decided that we were kinda mean, so it's Tohru's turn!

Yuki: WHAT? Miss Honda?

Sassy: That's right, lover boy!

Tom: Yes, it's equivelent exchange!

Angry Kitty: What did you just call me?

Tom: No, like because he's spared, someone else had to suffer!

Angry Kitty: ... Oh.

Sassy: Well, we don't own Furuba or OPRAH! Ahaha!

**CHAPTER TWO**

It appeared the set had been fixed. Unfortunately, now it looked like a dungeon, with torture devices hanging from the walls. Angry Kitty had an executioner's mask on, and Sassy was sharpening a rather large knife.

"Welcome back to Truth or Dare: Furuba Style!" Tom said, her voice monotone.

"So," Angry Kitty asked, her tone reflecting the grin that was probably on her face. "You like our new set?"

The audience, looking at the knives apprehensively, agreed at once.

"Yes of course!"

"It looks lovely!"

"Superb!"

Sassy pulled out a loaf of bread and began sawing the edge of it. "Hey, you gonna want any of this?"

"ANYWHO! Since we were SO MEAN to Yuki last time, we've decided to postpone his turn and instead bring out Miss TOHRU HONDA!"

Tohru, who was strapped to a chair just like Kyo had been, was wheeled out.

"Hello! How are you?" she asked cheerfully.

Angry Kitty twitched. "I HATE YOU!"

Tohru cringed. "WH-Why? What did I do?"

"You're always so fucking happy! It's not natural!"

Tohru let out a high-pitched giggle. "Of course not! Do you have any idea of how many anti-depressants I take?"

Tom gave her a strange look before shaking her head. "Alright, Tohru, Truth or Dare?"

"Hmm," she muttered thoughtfully, "I guess I choose … Dare! NO WAIT! Truth! Oh no! I must have offended you by not choosing Dare first!" She attempted to bow, but was still tied up. "Truth … Dare … Truth …Dare …" Her eyes became swirly.

Sassy turned to Angry Kitty while Tohru debated with herself. "So, whose audience did you steal this time?"

"Oprah's. I'm hoping she's less insane than fucking Jerry Springer."

"Okay, I choose … Truth!"

Tom sighed, "Fine then. Do you really like cleaning as much as you claim to?"

Tohru seemed to go into conclusions, her happy-go-I'm-such-a-moron look darkening. "OF COURSE NOT! Are you kidding me? I hate cleaning, but it's the only thing I'm good at!"

Angry Kitty's evil smile widened (even though you couldn't see it). "Oh, well in THAT case … I dare you to clean this whole set!"

Tohru's jaw dropped. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" she shrieked.

Sassy smirked, "I don't think so. Better get started, this place looks like a fucking dungeon."

Suddenly, the Oprah Show Theme Song™ began playing, and the audience began applauding as she came down the aisle, looking perfectly sane and NOT homicidal. She sat down in Tom's chair, making the small squirrel swear and jump onto the seat's armrest.

"You know, bitch, that was my seat," she complained. Oprah took no notice.

"Now, Angry Kitty," she said in a soothing voice, "why do you feel that you have to steal other people's audiences?"

Angry Kitty sniffed, "It's not MY fault we can't get an audience!"

"I'm sure if you just believe in yourself, you can get your own audience, and-"

"YOU KNOW WHAT?" Tom yelled, interrupting her. "I don't think you're in a position to be giving moral support, lady."

"Oh?" Oprah asked, still perfectly calm. "Are you feeling insecure? Do you have boy troubles? Maybe … image problems?"

"Image problems? Look at me lady. I'm a fucking squirrel!"

"Do you feel like your fat? Because anorexia is not the answer!"

Sassy began edging away from the two of them.

"At least I don't want to get liposuction like SOME fat cows did!"

Finally, Oprah's calm mask cracked.

"I WENT ON A DIET! I did NOT get liposuction! Whoever told you that is a LIAR!"

Tom's tail flicked impudently, "Sure, whatever lady."

"ARGH!" Oprah went to smack Tom, but she just ran away, Oprah hot on her heels.

Angry Kitty and Sassy blinked at them.

"Well … it appears we're out of time for today! Now Tohru, how do you feel about using a toothbrush to clean every speck of dirt and grime?" Sassy asked.

Tohru twitched.

"Oh good!"

Angry Kitty began eating Sassy's discarded bread. "Until next time! TTFN!"

**END**

Tom: I'm sorry if we offended you, with the whole Oprah thing. This story really isn't supposed to be taken seriously.

Sassy/Angry Kitty: I'm not sorry!

Tom: Well ... THANKS TO ALL WHO REVIEWED! (glomps) I love you all! **The Girly Man**, **Starskysea**, and **Kala Raish**!

Sassy: They all have excellent stories! Go check 'em out, yo's!

Angry Kitty: Holla!

Yuki: ... You guys are morons.

Tom: Oh, dear, you're starting to repeat yourself. That's never a good sign. Look out for chapter three, everybody! And PLEASE REVIEW!


	3. Chapter 3

Sassy: HA HA! WE'RE UPDATING!!!

Tom: I apologize to those who liked this story about how long it took us to update; we were caught up in other projects.

Angry Kitty: LIKE SCHOOL!!!

Tom: Yes … and this chapter is dedicated to hono'o neko, who gave us the idea of using Shigure as our next victim. Props to hono-chan!

Disclaimer: FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME, NO!

**CHAPTER THREE**

The set still looked like a dungeon, but the grime was gone from the walls. Tohru actually DID clean the ENTIRE set, only using a toothbrush! How sad.

"YAY WE'RE BACK!" Sassy shrieked.

"And HA! I didn't have to steal an audience!" Angry Kitty said proudly, twirling a machete absently in her paw.

Tom added, "We asked Ellen Degeneres if we could borrow her audience and she was surprisingly amiable."

"Maybe she saw what you did to Oprah." Flipper (who just now joined in the fun) commented absently.

"In any case," Tom continued as if Flipper hadn't spoken, "Please give a warm welcome to our new visitor, Shigure Sohma!"

Unlike the first two shows, Shigure walked onto the stage of his own volition, and the audience (who WASN'T chained up) gave him a standing ovation.

"This is boring!" Sassy whined unhappily.

"Yeah!" Angry Kitty agreed, "Where's the damn humor in this?"

Tom rolled her eyes and pressed a second button on the arm of her chair.

Silver manacles slid neatly out of the chair Shigure was sitting in;now he was trapped.

"Ooh, kinky!" He exclaimed.

"So Shigure!" Angry Kitty exclaimed, much happier, "After picking truth-

"When did I do that?"

"-I have a question: Do you even like dogs?"

"Ugh!" He yelled, disregarding the fact that they had chosen truth for him. "I'm allergic! I take my weight in allergy medicine every day! Why do you think I'm so bubbly and happy? Allergy medicine is better than those crappy anti-depressants Tohru's on for a mood elevator!"

There was a short silence, broken by Sassy (of course).

"Dude, what the fuck?"

Tom cleared her throat subtly, "Well, since we've just taken care of the Truth portion … I dare you to write your novel."

Shigure was flabbergasted, "WHAT?"

"At least two chapters."

NOW he was horrified. "NOOO!"

With a bit of creative maneuvering, they had him writing furiously on a spare pad of paper. If he stopped, he was electrocuted.

Mitchan appeared next to Sassy and watched him in cruel amusement before slipping all three animals a small wad of bills.

"WHAT THE HELL! You BRIBED them?" Shigure screeched.

Angry Kitty gave him a flat look. "It's not that hard. I don't see why Yuki has such a problem with it."

From offstage, Yuki began throwing a bitch fit.

Tom pulled out another **remote** control and pushed it. Suddenly the yelling stopped, as four sound proof walls had appeared around him.

"So anyways… big thanks to Ellen. And to think we almost killed you!" Sassy said cheerfully.

"I'm glade too," Ellen said with a nervous smile.

**END**

Tom: So ends chapter three.

Sassy: If you have any ideas for the victims to the next chapter, or audiences, we'd be glade to hear them!!

Flipper: (is eating popcorn and doesn't even noticed that we've ended it)

Tom: Thanks go to **hono'o neko**, **Dr. Hairspray**, **Miss Narrarator Acoolie -Kiari-**, **Your Wings Are Mine**, **minagaleno**, **Moon Sphere**, **love4sesshomaru**, **Chris73**, **The Girly Man**, **Cats Go Meow**, **Kala Raish**, and **Starskysea **for reviewing.

Sassy: 0o Damn!

Angry Kitty: So until next time!!!


End file.
